WARNING: A Rant

Ah, hello blog world! I have been missing you. So far, life is good. Really good. I have officially been a Divorce' for two whole days now. Honestly, that wasn't as emotionally overwhelming as I had thought it could be. I went to court, raised my right hand, did a few "Yes Sirs" and walked out with my ex-husbands last name and a fresh page to start on. All in all, it's good to have it behind me. I'm still on decent terms with his parents, as is he with mine; that always makes things easier I think.

I did some small celebrating, talked to some very good friends, and I have been living my life with a new zest for the mystery in it all than I have ever had.

Correct me if I am mistaken, but isn't that a normal way of healing to a bad break up, or in my case a divorce?
Not holding on to the past, realizing it's over and why it is in fact over, and moving forward as best as you can? I think that's pretty healthy. Which makes me feel good about where I am, and excited about where I am heading.

This brings me to the thing that annoyed me today. I will never be okay with the false facade of a person who has "Moved On." A person who wants the world to see they have done the normal healing involved in long relationships ending. A person who, for all intents and purposes, looks to have found a new start with a person well suited to them for whatever reasons. When that same person turns around and says or does something so clearly the opposite of the image they have built, it can only make one wonder as to why? Why would they lie? Why would they pretend? I can't think of anyone who would judge another for having to heal from a broken heart or a bad ending to a long standing relationship.
Now, just to clarify, I am not in any way referring to my ex-husband. I think he really has done the normal process of healing; or at least most of it. He did what he had to do to help himself; I don't agree with a portion of it. But I don't hold it against him. He's not the target of my blog today.

The target for this particular blog is no one special; I just see these things happen so often, and it's really very sad. It makes me wonder when the social stigma that you have to always land on your feet and be "A-Okay" at all times following a break up was developed.
I think it's unhealthy. I think we should all try and do our part to put an end to that social stigma. Think about it for a minute; how many of us know or have known someone who had the biggest breakdown of their life after pretending to be just fine and dandy at the end of a long relationship? I know for a fact that that behavior can lead to serious depression and poor decision making. I know it from first hand experience. It's a self destructive idea. It's unrealistic and best, and manipulative at worst. It holds consequences far outstretching the couple itself; it can hurt family, mutual friends, new relationships; you name it.

So the next time you feel the ground slipping, or your life shattering before your eyes, remember that it is OKAY to feel that way. That it's NORMAL to not know what to do at the end of something you may have thought would always last. It is not in the least okay to pretend, to yourself or anyone else, that you feel anything slightly askance of your true feelings. That leads to immature and impulsive actions. And those, dear readers, do more damage than owning up to how you really feel ever could.

We all fall down, we all break ourselves and others. But the pieces do get swept up, and slowly, they get put back together. And the picture you'll see if you let yourself heal the right way is a far more beautiful future than you could have ever dreamed of.