What Really Grinds my Gears; Revised

 Three days ago, on Sunday night, I sat down to write a blog. Scratch that, a vent. Today I got on to my blogger with the goal of finishing and posting that blog. I re-read what I had wrote. This blog was full of anger, confusion  and disgust; I said some pretty venomous things, and while I can't say I didn't mean those things, I can say that a few days to reflect on what upset me to begin with was for the best. There is a time and a place for all things; and some, should never be given a time or place to begin with. Like hateful things. Those things that leak anger and resentment into your day to day world. Those are things we have to learn to rise above and move past, because it can poison you when yo allow those things to control you in any way.
  Suffice it to say that in my adult life, many people have said some pretty nasty things about me, and made some very unfounded accusations. While the initial reaction may be to lash out in "righteous anger" that's not the way to deal with gossip and slander. All lashing out does is fuel their fire. The best way to retaliate is to do...nothing. For one, gossip dies out. For another, the best way to prove your character is over time. With time and a constant attitude, the people who spread the slander will see they have nothing to support it; nothing but hear say and assumptions.
 And in the days I reflected on what things were said about me, and dealt with my own reaction to them, I had to see that these things were said quite a ways back. And none of it has been repeated or spread any time recently. In a way, I feel satisfied with the knowledge that I have remained true in character, and have shown, simply by remaining constant, that I am not what some would accuse me to be.
  God works in his own time; and that's how I choose to feel about this. Yes, some very rude and uncalled for things were said and done in hopes of hurting me, in one way or another. But time has been on my side; not my time, but God's time; and I feel good about that.

 As a little example of this, I'll use my ex and the people we knew when we were together. My ex said some seriously nasty things about me; he did some pretty ugly things to hurt me too in the after math of our divorce. Rather than fueling his fire and burning myself, I said not a word. He vented, accused me of being crazy among other things, and no doubt he convinced some people of these things. People who didn't know me. I kept my peace. The only person i have ever told anything negative to is Brock, and that is because I would trust him with everything. And there is a good deal of negative I could have spread about him. But.....Of all the people we knew as a couple, who really knew me, I can't think of one who truly bought that I was the evil two headed monster I was made out to be. I've run in to several of them, and am even working for one. And they all know me; they know who I am at the core. And they still like me, and care about me. And I am thankful for that.

I've been fortunate in having a good up bringing, supportive family, a few close friends.....I'll always answer a question with honesty, even if you don't want to hear it. And I'll always love unconditionally. These are just a few things I am grateful for.

So tonight, instead of anger, I feel peace. And I forgive the people who have hurt me in the past, and in the future. Because I want to live my life without resentment. And if you hold a grudge all your life, you're destined for an early grave.